Post by Lora on Jan 4, 2008 19:36:46 GMT 1
Author: Lora
Type: Original work
Notes: The song is Queens, I just borrow it.
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This is the story of my life. Or rather the story of my one great love.
I'm not quite sure when I fell in love, but I know I liked her from the day we met. In no time we were talking as if we had known each other for our entire lifes. If we hadn't been looking so different people might have mistaken us for siblings.
Well, it didn't take us long to become closed knitted friends and somewhere down the line I fell in love. Truly, deeply in love. I thought about her all the time, smiled a little warm smile at every text message with her name attached and dreamed about the next time I would see her.
Things were great for some time. I ached for her, to kiss her and let her know my feelings, but still we kept to talking, laughing and doing crazy stuff like always and I let myself be patient. I didn't want to risk losing her by pushing her.
Then it happened. That faithful day when she excitily told me of her new boyfriend and how great it was to have found someone to love. I smiled and was happy with her, but inside I was crying. My heart was broken with those words; I'd waited too long and now she was lost to me. I don't remember for how long I just lay there on my bed letting the tears run freely.
I rarely cry; haven't done so since childhood. This was one of those few times I did and another silent proof of my love.
I started hoping it wouldn't last long. Who knew, it might just be one of those short relantionships people so often engage in. I tried looking positively at the whole of it, but found it hard. A dull ache and depression settled in me. 'Cause no matter how happy I was for her the part of my heart that belong to her was crying.
It became a long painful wait. I wanted them to split, but I wouldn't intervene. I couldn't. Because while I might succed in breaking their hearts and splitting them up I would also be breaking my own heart. And I wanted her to be happy.
As time passed by I started to lose heart; they were going strong and I was still alone. I had learned to live with the loneliness and depression luring just around the corner. We were still close friends and I never let her know how much her happiness hurt me.
Then one day she call me all roused up and excited telling me of her engagement. I smiled and talked excitedly with her laughing at the right moments sharing her happiness and, of course, asking her a bunch of questions not really wanting to know, but playing my part as I had for years now.
As soon as she hung up the smile faded and I let the infinite sadness from that part of my heart take over. She was lost to me now. The small hope that had been burning faded. She was gonna marry and nothing but a miracle could ever bring her to me now. I yearned for her to be mine and I hers, but my hope shattered and I was left in the dark.
I had never felt so alone in my entire life. I'd had a couple of boyfriends, but with my heart already belonging to someone else, it didn't hold. I wanted only her. The others were just distractions to take my mind of the woman I couldn't have and company to keep the loneliness at bay.
When she asked me to be her bridesmaid I happily accepted, wanting not to be her maid, but her bride. Well, I took what I could get.
In the months leading up to the wedding I was the most helpful friend you could possibly think of. I helped with the flowers, seating arrangement, clothes and a thousand other little things. God, I was a d**n wedding planner for my best friend and love. I wanted the wedding to be perfect, to see her shine and sparkle.
I did. She looked so beautiful in that white dress standing next to the man she was about to marry. My own dress was more simple and the colour of love, though all I saw was the red colour of blood; my heart's tears.
I was all smiles like them when they walked out the church together, hand in hand, and studiously ignored the remains of what had once been my heart lying on the ground.
That night I cried. Really cried. Alone in my apartment with no one to see me I let the facade fall. I hadn't cried for a long time, but the final flickering piece of hope had now been extinguished.
It had once merely seemed like a difficult task to win the heart of a strait, but now it was impossible.
I fell asleep crying that night.
Now they're expecting their first child and I am still alone. The marriage is going as strong as ever and I have managed to push aside those sad and depressed feelings, at least most of the time. I truly am looking forward to the child arriving, to see my friends as parents.
She has a good husband, who love her and take good care of her and I could ask for nothing more for my love. Her happiness is my happiness.
It is my own fault I'm not the one to share her life and bed. I was a coward, too afraid to be hurt myself to ever let her know of my feelings while there was still time, and in the end I ended up with a broken heart at any rate.
Life has an ironic sense of humor.
I don't know what the future will bring; I'm not a seer, but I know I will always love her and be there for her.
Type: Original work
Notes: The song is Queens, I just borrow it.
------------------------
This is the story of my life. Or rather the story of my one great love.
I'm not quite sure when I fell in love, but I know I liked her from the day we met. In no time we were talking as if we had known each other for our entire lifes. If we hadn't been looking so different people might have mistaken us for siblings.
Well, it didn't take us long to become closed knitted friends and somewhere down the line I fell in love. Truly, deeply in love. I thought about her all the time, smiled a little warm smile at every text message with her name attached and dreamed about the next time I would see her.
Things were great for some time. I ached for her, to kiss her and let her know my feelings, but still we kept to talking, laughing and doing crazy stuff like always and I let myself be patient. I didn't want to risk losing her by pushing her.
Then it happened. That faithful day when she excitily told me of her new boyfriend and how great it was to have found someone to love. I smiled and was happy with her, but inside I was crying. My heart was broken with those words; I'd waited too long and now she was lost to me. I don't remember for how long I just lay there on my bed letting the tears run freely.
I rarely cry; haven't done so since childhood. This was one of those few times I did and another silent proof of my love.
I started hoping it wouldn't last long. Who knew, it might just be one of those short relantionships people so often engage in. I tried looking positively at the whole of it, but found it hard. A dull ache and depression settled in me. 'Cause no matter how happy I was for her the part of my heart that belong to her was crying.
It became a long painful wait. I wanted them to split, but I wouldn't intervene. I couldn't. Because while I might succed in breaking their hearts and splitting them up I would also be breaking my own heart. And I wanted her to be happy.
As time passed by I started to lose heart; they were going strong and I was still alone. I had learned to live with the loneliness and depression luring just around the corner. We were still close friends and I never let her know how much her happiness hurt me.
Then one day she call me all roused up and excited telling me of her engagement. I smiled and talked excitedly with her laughing at the right moments sharing her happiness and, of course, asking her a bunch of questions not really wanting to know, but playing my part as I had for years now.
As soon as she hung up the smile faded and I let the infinite sadness from that part of my heart take over. She was lost to me now. The small hope that had been burning faded. She was gonna marry and nothing but a miracle could ever bring her to me now. I yearned for her to be mine and I hers, but my hope shattered and I was left in the dark.
I had never felt so alone in my entire life. I'd had a couple of boyfriends, but with my heart already belonging to someone else, it didn't hold. I wanted only her. The others were just distractions to take my mind of the woman I couldn't have and company to keep the loneliness at bay.
When she asked me to be her bridesmaid I happily accepted, wanting not to be her maid, but her bride. Well, I took what I could get.
In the months leading up to the wedding I was the most helpful friend you could possibly think of. I helped with the flowers, seating arrangement, clothes and a thousand other little things. God, I was a d**n wedding planner for my best friend and love. I wanted the wedding to be perfect, to see her shine and sparkle.
I did. She looked so beautiful in that white dress standing next to the man she was about to marry. My own dress was more simple and the colour of love, though all I saw was the red colour of blood; my heart's tears.
I was all smiles like them when they walked out the church together, hand in hand, and studiously ignored the remains of what had once been my heart lying on the ground.
That night I cried. Really cried. Alone in my apartment with no one to see me I let the facade fall. I hadn't cried for a long time, but the final flickering piece of hope had now been extinguished.
It had once merely seemed like a difficult task to win the heart of a strait, but now it was impossible.
I fell asleep crying that night.
Now they're expecting their first child and I am still alone. The marriage is going as strong as ever and I have managed to push aside those sad and depressed feelings, at least most of the time. I truly am looking forward to the child arriving, to see my friends as parents.
She has a good husband, who love her and take good care of her and I could ask for nothing more for my love. Her happiness is my happiness.
It is my own fault I'm not the one to share her life and bed. I was a coward, too afraid to be hurt myself to ever let her know of my feelings while there was still time, and in the end I ended up with a broken heart at any rate.
Life has an ironic sense of humor.
I don't know what the future will bring; I'm not a seer, but I know I will always love her and be there for her.
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can't get no relief,
Lord!
Somebody, somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
I work hard every day of my life
I work till I ache my bones
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own -
I get down on my knees
And I start to pray
Till the tears run down from my eyes
Lord - somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me - somebody to love?
(He works hard)
Everyday - I try and I try and I try -
But everybody wants to put me down
They say I'm goin' crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
Got no common sense
I got nobody left to believe
Yeah - yeah yeah yeah
Oh Lord
Somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Got no feel, I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat
I'm ok, I'm alright
Ain't gonna face no defeat
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
Someday I'm gonna be free, Lord!
Find me somebody to love
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can't get no relief,
Lord!
Somebody, somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
I work hard every day of my life
I work till I ache my bones
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own -
I get down on my knees
And I start to pray
Till the tears run down from my eyes
Lord - somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me - somebody to love?
(He works hard)
Everyday - I try and I try and I try -
But everybody wants to put me down
They say I'm goin' crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
Got no common sense
I got nobody left to believe
Yeah - yeah yeah yeah
Oh Lord
Somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Got no feel, I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat
I'm ok, I'm alright
Ain't gonna face no defeat
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
Someday I'm gonna be free, Lord!
Find me somebody to love
Can anybody find me somebody to love?